28 days to go

I am having to defer :( After losing nearly 4 weeks of training through injury I am not able to take part in the London Marathon 2015. I could have done it anyway and just walked most of it but I think I would have felt cheated out of the opportunity. I can defer and tackle it again in 2016 with a lot more training behind me hopefully.

This isn't to say I'm going to stop running (or writing!). I have already booked onto a half marathon for July (my first ever one!) and am planning on doing a few more over the next year. 

Hopefully this way I will be more prepared so I am not last minute with my training. So if I do get another injury I will hopefully still be able to continue as I will be a lot further on in my training. 

Also, this isn't to say you can't still sponsor me. I'm not going to be asking for any sponsorships next year so everything that is given to me and Andrew this time round (before this London Marathon) will count for my marathon next year too. 

Andrew's Dad (Bill) was diagnosed with chronic Sarcoidosis not long after I had met him and been accepted into the Windle clan. I have seen his struggle over the years, not only with the condition itself but with the lack of research, knowledge and understanding. This has caused many frustrations along the way, with many doctors being baffled and managing the condition becoming trial and error and complex. Sarcoidosis is related to abnormal behaviour of the immune system causing it to attacking healthy parts of the body. It causes granulomas to form in any part of the body, in Bills case, his lungs. With the condition having got so bad that stairs become a mountain, every day tasks become the impossible and his Northern Soul dancing passion has become a far distant memory, me and Andrew wanted to do something to help awareness of this condition and how devastating it can be. You can read more about the condition here www.blf.org.uk/page/sarcoidosis 

Thank you for all your donations so far, they are very much appreciated, and there's still time to donate here http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/fundraiser-web/fundraiser/showFundraiserPage.action?userUrl=AndrewWindle&faId=527939&isTeam=false

Any amount will go a long way to tackling some of the hurdles my father-in-law and the Windles have had to face so please just donate what you can.

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9 Weeks To Go

Well, I've had a rough couple of weeks. After running 10 miles at a speed obviously too fast for me to handle I have suffered. I tried getting back on the treadmill last week but my legs were just giving way so had to switch to the bike to keep up some form of exercise. I was supposed to be aiming for 12 miles the following weekend, but without being able to do any running I felt it was far too great a challenge to attempt. I allowed myself a contingency week in my training for moments like this so I decided to take a rest week. It was my sons 6th birthday so I had a busy weekend anyway. 

On the following Monday I was feeling a bit run down but got on the treadmill and just ran for half an hour, my ankle was feeling a bit niggly but wasn't very painful just hurt when I bent it. However after half an hour I was ready to stop I felt exhausted. On the Wednesday I was still not feeling 100% so just did 20 lengths in the pool as I didn't want to aggrevate my ankle any more. Feeling suitably tired I went straight to bed. I woke up in the night with severe heartburn so got out of bed to get a glass of milk. I then had to rush to the bathroom to be sick. The last thing I remember is being violently sick in the toilet. Then I woke up on the bathroom floor with my husband asking me what had happened. I must have blacked out and I was bruised all over from hitting my chin and chest and arm. I went to the doctors who listened to my heart and suggested an ECG, routine for any unexplained blackout. 

Feeling fine the next few days I figured I could still attempt my 12 miles. If I didn't do it this weekend then I would be behind my training plan and it would all go to pot. So I made sure I ate my porridge on Sunday morning, got ready, did my stretches then set out. I could feel my ankle but with anything I felt it just needed warming up and would feel fine soon. However after a mile it was getting worse, every impact was really sore and felt myself almost trying to avoid striking it. Defeated I stopped and limped home. 

This was the worst possible thing that could happen. I burst into tears when I got through the door, after everything I had been through I felt I could still go out there and achieve but there was always something stopping me. I'm so angry and frustrated right now, I can't afford to have another rest week. It means my marathon aims are set back and looks like I'll be walking it like I said I would in the beginning. Totally gutted doesn't even cover it, for the first time in my life I actually want to run. That night my ankle kept me awake, every time I twisted it it hurt, it obviously didn't do it much good with the impact on it. 

Next step I have to rest my ankle! And maybe get it checked over by a physio to know the quickest recovery method. I'll still be exercising but it will be on those horrible elliptical trainers or swimming. 

Bummer.

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11 weeks to go

I have finally got round to updating my blog again. I had a well deserved break after my 10 mile race in December and didn't do any running for 3 weeks over Christmas. I have finally got back up to 10 miles again building up slowly so I thought this was the opportune time to start writing again on the run up to the marathon. 

From the beginning of January it is 16 weeks to the London Marathon so it was perfect to start a training plan, I have been following the Nike Finish A Race marathon training plan. http://www.nike.com/runningfeatures/facebook/facebook_web/eventprogram/pdf/en_US/marathon_pr.pdf

We received a gift of family gym membership from my parents for Christmas which has been invaluable for keeping motivated during the cold. Having never run on a treadmill before it took a bit of getting used to and any longer runs do feel very difficult, I think it was more to do with being forced to watch either Columbo or Jeremy Kyle for entertainment, it doesn't really compare to being out in the open. 

January is always an easy month to commit yourself to something 100%. No one is going out, there's not much you miss out on or any reasons to fall off the wagon. It hasn't been without its wobbles though, and not just the fleshy sort. The weekend of Blue Monday I hit a downward spiral. I do struggle with depression and sometimes it just hits me even though I am on happy pills for it. I want to hide away from the world and the thought of having to get up every day and face the world is a struggle. Its the mental battle of knowing that I have to get up at least three times a week every week until April and run until it hurts, when it feels all I want to do is pull the duvet over my head and stay there until I feel strong enough to emerge. Everyone always tells you that doing regular exercise is good for depression. The only trouble is that if I miss a training day I am then racked with guilt about it and it makes it all that harder to get back out there. A million questions are asked. Why am I doing this? Is it worth it? Will I feel better for giving up? 

But I have managed to find the motivation from somewhere and have always hit my long run targets at the end of the week so far. I think what makes it harder is knowing how stubborn I am and I know that once I start I won't stop until it kills me, which sometimes feels like it is, so starting is the most difficult part.

On Saturday I ran 10 miles and took a whole 14 minutes off my previous time. However I am still recovering 2 days later. I went out way too hard and I have suffered because of it. I just wanted to prove that I have come a long way again. But now I have proved that I can get back into my normal routine and my slow plodding pace just to ensure I get round. My target is 12 miles this Sunday so I will report back with how that goes. 

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Week 8 & 9

Week 8

Day 1

My usual Tuesday morning run was cut short as we were having our windows replaced first thing, so I had a sprinting race with Joe to the local park and back just to try and get something done. It wasn't even a mile but was pretty hard work anyway! 

Day 2

After a disappointing first run and the 10 miler looming I felt determined to get out and run 8 miles. It was only 2 miles further than I had already run the week before and only 2 miles short of what I was supposed to run the following Sunday so it felt achievable but also closer to my goal. I planned my route and set off. It soon occurred to me that I hadn't factored in a huge hill for the first 2 miles, but as I felt good and determined I powered on. It didn't last long though, I got to the top of the hill and almost passed out, the whole world was spinning around me. I felt so bad I called my husband to come and pick me up. Could have had something to do with the bottle of wine and lack of sleep I had the night before so I vowed to have another try tomorrow minus the hill and wine. 

Day 3

Joe agreed to come out with me today so I had a bit of company. He was going to just run 5k then head home but he ended up doing the whole 7 miles with me. Yes I said 7, it was supposed to be 8 but the whole run felt horrible so I was happy to just through that much. Starting to really panic about the 10 miler now, but my friend Nat who I was running it with assured me that we can just run 10k then have a walk and just take it really easy so I felt much better. 

Week 9

The week leading up to the run I did nothing again. I think I had slipped into denial and I didn't need to do anything coupled with the fact we are really busy with the sale of our house and the temperature has really dropped making it less than desirable to get out there. so somehow the week slipped away and I found myself on Sunday morning wondering what on earth I was doing. 

I checked the weather the night before and there was a weather warning for snow and ice. Excellent I thought, it's going to be hell. I got myself ready and set off with my family in tow for moral support. "Just kick their butts Mum" my youngest's advice was. Good advice Austin, thanks. 

I can tell you the moment the reality hit. We pulled into the car park at Guy's and there were very professional looking runners everywhere all limbering up drinking tea (tea! Will you not need a wee half way round?!). I made the worst mistake I could then and checked the previous years results, this is when my heart sank. The past three years everyone had come in under 2 hours. If I wanted to do that I had to retain the pace I had for my 6 mile run I had done. So, I had to run as fast and 4 miles further with no walking allowed to make 2 hours. It was never going to happen, this was just going to be embarrassing and I was going to come last place by a long way. I wanted to go home. 

Natalie arrived so I had no choice but to get out there and give it a go. I went to get my number and checked out the route, but actually didn't look too bad and at least it was flat, no hills to contend with. We set off and thankfully Nat kept the same snail pace as me and we soon found ourselves bringing up the rear. The first 4 miles the weather was very unkind and there were strong winds blowing right at us so it felt like we weren't getting anywhere, that was tough but at the halfway point we turned with the wind behind us and we were able to pick up a bit of speed and overtake 4 people! That felt good, I wasn't last! 

Past mile 7 I started to really tire especially as that is the furthest I had ever run and I had it in my head this would be the point I would have to limp home. We got to mile 8 which felt great and Nat powered on ahead of me. Those last 2 miles I felt like I was in the twilight zone. It felt never ending like I was just running on the spot and not getting anywhere. All I kept thinking in my head is that if I stop to walk I would never run again so I had to just keep going but that was the hardest thing ever. Then it started hailing. Eventually after what felt like a lifetime I saw the end in sight, I still kept a slowish pace as the last thing I needed was to collapse so close to the finish, as I got near to the finish clock I saw the time of 2:00:01. I can't believe I had been so close to getting under 2 hours, I had no idea how that just happened, so my happiness allowed me to run as fast as I could to get a time of 2 hours 1 minute! I was ecstatic and I didn't come last!

Looking rather red faced with our cheese medals!

What I have learned

That I can do it and it wouldn't be so bad to come last, someone has to, I still felt fantastic for my personal achievement. 

My goals

To take it easy over Christmas. We are moving house in 2 weeks so will be busy with that then I can pick it up in Jan and aim for the marathon in April! 

Feeling

Amazing, my goal was to be able to run 10k comfortably by Christmas and I have just run 10 miles, albeit not very comfortably but has given me a huge boost that my goal is achievable which I have never believed until now. Saying that though the thought of running another 16.2 miles after that feels me with absolute dread...

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Week 6 & 7

Week 6
Day 1
Determined to go out slower today I started off at a snails pace and it paid off. I got round my usual 5k route and decided to go further because I felt that good. I dropped Joe off at home and ran, feeling loads better than when I just set off. This is where it has all clicked into place with me. I felt that buzz that people always talk about that I always thought was a myth and only people who were 'born to run' could experience. I went for 4 miles and made it feeling fantastic. This has definitely given me a new lease of life for running and achieving my goal.

Day 2
We spent the weekend up at my parents house in Ambleside. This is always a worry as there is so much food and alcohol there it's easy to fall into a sloth like existence, but I was determined to go out. Saturday morning I woke up and went back to sleep, it wasn't going to happen.

Then my husband decided to show me up and went for a casual 10k run around the mountains (he's the type who was born to run, grrr). So I felt my competitive spirit coming out and I got up on Sunday morning and set off out to the hills. Wow, it was so difficult! I don't know how these fell runners do it. Downhill was harder than uphill, I tentatively placed my feet on all the rocks attempting to avoid the slippy ones and the leaves and moss and sheep poo, there were death traps everywhere!

And then I found myself in a bog surrounded by sheep, thinking I was going to get stuck and eaten alive slowly because no-one would find me. It was a pretty harrowing experience so felt like I had achieved a lot when I found myself back at the safety of my parents house. However, I looked at my Nike+ and it said I had done a measly 2.7 miles! But I am thinking my GPS didn't work properly because I had been out for an hour and it only said I was out for 37 minutes, that's my excuse anyway...it made me feel better.

Week 7
Day 1
The hill/bog running had paid off! 6.05 miles (the .05 is very important)! Almost 10k, in fact I would have done 10k if my GPS had been set to km instead of miles. Best feeling ever after that run! Took me 1 hour 14, but each mile was faster than the last and felt great, so could probably get a good time if I had really pushed myself.

To celebrate I booked myself a place on the Guys 10 mile road race. Not much of a prize I think you'll agree but after that run I feel like I can really do it so am going to really go for it and try to get way beyond the 10k (16k I think it works out to be). Even if I have to walk some of it at least I'm getting the distance in and can build on speed.

Unfortunately I haven't managed to get out again this week, but am planning another big run tomorrow in Week 8 so will hopefully be able to get a few good runs in so will report back next week on the build up to my 10 miler!



What I have learned
Never trust a GPS, or sheep

My Goals
To get beyond 10k

Feeling
Amazing after my 10k breakthrough!

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Weeks 4 & 5

I'm combining these weeks together just so I can cheat as Week 4 was a bit of a write off.

Day 1

Went out in the morning with Joe and tried to go for 5k but struggled so cut it short. Felt rubbish and legs were still very sore. Couldn't catch Joe again.

Day 2 & 3

Didn't happen! We were busy with selling our house and hosting a Halloween party, although I think because I was so disappointed with day 1 I didn't have any motivation to go out again anyway.

So, without further ado I will skip to Week 5!

Day 1
Horrible rainy dark Tuesday morning I managed to peel myself away from my nice warm bed and get out there. I dragged Joe out of his slumber and we set off onto the streets. 

A lot of training advice I have read says to keep your pace 'conversational'. Personally I didn't think the two were very compatible, when I run I breathe so heavily I can't hear anything else. Picture a red sweaty puffing and panting, headband wearing mass and you have me. Not exactly a conversation starter.

So I set off as slowly as I could to try and maintain a conversation with Joe, and it worked! I'm usually running as fast as I can to get the pain over with more quickly, no wonder I can't go very far! But this time I felt really good. We did 3 miles and I felt I could have gone further, my pace also increased with every mile so I was obviously feeling good (lets ignore the fact the second two miles are more downhill).

I think the rest did my legs good also as they felt a lot better than after previous runs. 

Day 2

Same again. Didn't feel as good but managed it a little quicker with a sprint finish which was fun!

Day 3 

Same again, although Joe pushed me to start quicker to try and get our time down to under 30 mins so I obliged but the inevitable happened and I ended up having to walk after the first mile. Really annoyed with myself so went a wee bit further (actually tried a shortcut but got lost so ended up having to run further!) and did a sprint finish again.

So you can see from this weeks activity my mood got worse throughout the week and run 3's pace ended up being the same as week 1 even though I went out faster because I had to walk, so the moral of the story is...

What I have learned
To start slow!!!!

My Goals
To build up to 4 miles next week

Feeling
Quite proud I've run 9.17 miles in a week and feel fine for it. My legs are obviously building up some resistance finally and dare I say it...it's getting easier...?

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Week 3

I've started noticing a lot of people asking how far I am running. I suppose it's their yard stick for how close to marathon standards I am, judging whether they think I am going to make it or not. When I reluctantly/embarrassingly tell them how far they either look very worried for me or laugh hysterically at me.

The truth is I am probably not even going to get to marathon standards, not on any self-respectful level, but that's not necessarily my aim. My aim is to do the best I can with a body that has suffered years of neglect in the short amount of time I have available to me. If that means that I don't run very far then please don't judge me, I am doing the best I can. As long as I get out three times a week I'm sure I will start to see improvements along the way, which will then give me the confidence to start thinking about the challenge ahead. But until then I have to just do what I can, when I can.

Mid-run selfie with my son Joe looking very red faced 

Here is how this week has gone down:

Day 1

Nada, nil, nothing. My legs huuurt beyond belief, I struggle to walk so am trying to rest them, even cycling or swimming is looking painful to me. Getting a bit depressed also that I can't even do the simplest things

Day 2

Today I am determined. No matter how much it hurts I am just going to get out there. As a friend pointed out, no matter how bad you think a run has gone you will be better and stronger for your next run. So I managed 15 minutes again and only my right leg hurt, 50% less pain I can deal with! Feeling so happy at this point as it was so frustrating not being able to run it actually felt really good to be out there no matter how short

Day 3

Yes! I managed 20 minutes then walked for a bit and a further 5 minutes run home. Feeling ace :) and for those of you who ask 2.5 miles, which may sound pitiful but it was my own little marathon

What I have learned

To take my time and not worry about the standard other people think I should be running at

My Goals 

To just get out there three times and see what I can do

Feeling
Pretty good, long may this continue!

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